Sunday, December 29, 2013

  • "When you don't know what you're doing, it's best to do it quickly!"
  •  I would rather play pattycake with a dead mouse then touch your tea cup Si
  •  "Most people named Willie are either in prison or on the arm wrestling circuit."
  •  If you're to busy to hunt.. Then you're to busy.
  •  Where I come from, your truck is an exact reflection on your personality.
  •  We were hoarders before hoarding was cool.
  •  Nothin tells a girl you've moved on more than a deer in the back of your pickup truck.
  •  You can talk any redneck into a challenge. That's why so many rednecks die in strange ways.
  •  CEO stands for Caveman with an Ego whose Obese.
  •  Willie is as wound up as a coon dog tryin' to pass a peach seed.

  • Redneck rule number one, most things can be fixed with duct tape and extension cords.
  •  If you park a camper outside a donut shop, rednecks will come running from rocks, caves, and mountaintops to eat your donuts
  •  "To say i was forced to come to this art gallery against my will, would be a correct assertion."
  •  We shoot anything edible we see.
  •  I'm into the true meaning of Christmas - Faith, Family, and Facial hair.
  •  Never underestimate the power of Miss Kay's sweet potato pie
  •  Willie has way to much facial hair to rise in the next level of society
  •  This turkey needs to die
  •  Hey parents, maybe you should skin more animals around the house so your kids won't be so trauma-tized. 
  •  There is a bearded man burning leaves in his front yard. What are we going to do?!

  •  When he takes off running, he looks like two possums fighting over a dead squirrel in a toesack.
  •  Willie has an obsession with ninjas
  •  I think he's more like a sumo-wrestler than a ninja
  •  I've been drivin here my whole life and have never parallel parked, I protest parallel parking
  •  Let me tell you something about Martin......... He supplies his own airbag.
  •  Is this turning into a near death experience...possibly. Does this add to the adventure...absolutley!
  •  I saw this dog heading towards that RV and I thought, Oh my goodness, this could be the end of that dog's career.
  •  When a man the size of Martin becomes combustible, Oh, it's a dangerous situation! 

  •  The frogs have no idea, I have assembled the frog catching dream team
  •  Trying to make wine with no grapes, do you believe in miracles?
  •  You can make water into wine, if you're Jesus, last i checked.. Your name is Willie
  •  The wine we have created kind of tastes like a cross between doe pee and jalapeƱo juice
  •  "In the South, road kill is a rednecks paycheck"
  •  "Where I'm from, you don't mess with another man's woman... or his hat.
  •  You know you can't help but feel sorry for that bathroom
  •  RV to us stands for RedNeck Vacation.
  •  Work without fun is like peanut butter without jelly
  •  We could have a band Si, we could call it the struttin turkeys
  •  He's lookin like a third grader who just wet his pants
  •  A beaver brings a paddle to a gun fight.
  • "He's over there like a scared little boy in the fetal position, over some bees. He's lost his manhood." 
  • "I need honey, honey! Look, when you get honey in your beard it literally stays there for two weeks. I mean even when my wife kisses me, she's like, oh that was good. She don't even know why. She just thinks I'm sweeter than most males." 

  •  If you're drivin down the road and you look over and see a truck in the middle of a field, you know what happened.. Liberation.
  •  We stumbled up on the beaver promise land, so now it's the reckoning
  •  Theres a time to cook and theres a time to kill, this is the time to kill. 
  •  My top 10 dumbest things I've done in my life has all included Si in some way.
  •  "Having your brother as a boss is a lot like dating your's a bit weird."
  •  "What willie needs to do…if he wants to be more productive…is fire all of us"
  •  There's nothing worse than waking up and realizing you're in your brother's urine
  •  The conveyor belt is the best thing i've ever been in charge of…i think i'm ready to run for political office 




Chuck Norris Jokes / Facts

Jeff Foxworthy - You Might Be a Redneck Jokes

Jase Robertson Funny Quotes

Phil Robertson Quotes/Sayings/Wisdom

Larry The Cable Guy Jokes/Sayings

Si Robertson's Sayings & Funny Quotes:

Bill Engvall: Here's Your Sign

Interesting Fun Facts: Things You Probably Didn't Know: